February is the Kindest Month…

Published by The Sage.

February is thoroughly underrated. It is often seen as January’s twin, and condemned as a consequence, but while a chill in the air unites them, that is where their familial similarities end. January is a long, miserable, dog of a month. Dry January? Surely it is more rational to spend it shitfaced.

But February is a beautiful, compact little gift, capable of lightening the shade of even the darkest of January blues. It’s short, cute and frivolous, and crucially it ends leaving you wanting more. Which it then gives you every four years like a little encore.

I had a school friend who was born on February 29 and every leap year he was provided with the kind of material that most stand ups can only dream about. When we were twelve years old he gleefully announced that he was only three. He repeated this joke at sixteen (when he was four of course). We lost touch after that. He’d be eight years older now, but it seems like longer ago.

February is beautiful because you don’t pay council tax or water rates. I believe some people pay theirs over twelve months rather than ten. Why would you? I look forward to the financial boost that February and March provide all year. And then every year I waste it on some ill-advised, speculative punt. Living the dream. There’s always next February.

In February the days stretch out and our serotonin levels rise accordingly. Crocuses bloom to hint at the life to come after the death of winter. Pancake day is an absolute triumph – that rare combination of fun and food. Everyone loves to toss a pancake.

All of the above is of course part of the rich tapestry of my favourite month, but it is the football that makes February really special.

'All of the above is of course part of the rich tapestry of my favourite month, but it is the football that makes February really special.' Click To Tweet

Championships aren’t won in February, but as the cliché suggests, they can be lost. The FA Cup starts its inexorable climb towards a denouement. The first silverware is handed out in the form of the League Cup (the Community Shield really doesn’t count). The Champions League returns to console subscribers to a sub-standard internet service that it really is worth it for the saving made on BT Sport.

And then there’s Valentine’s Day. We need to make time for our loved ones occasionally and February provides a timely reminder. Just when we thought February couldn’t get any better, the gods have conspired to put this year’s Valentine’s Day up against the Europa League. It’s a whole lot better for the digestive system, when you are sharing your romantic meal for two, to be safe in the knowledge that you are definitely not missing anything worth watching. 

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Shin Pads & Angry Dads

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